Why do we care so much what others perceive our gender identity to be?

Why does it feel so important that people’s opinion of you match with your own idea of your identity? I care very much that people have the impression of me that I have of myself when it comes to gender and sexual orientation. Ostensibly, nonconforming people feel the same way - if not way more intensely.

But I typically don’t care about this type of mismatch in other domains - like music or fashion or other interests. I mean I do care to some degree, but I can much more easily say “fuck it, that person doesn’t get what I’m into and has the wrong idea; I don’t care”. But I don’t feel that way when it comes to gender/sexual orientation.

Is it a mate candidacy thing? You don’t want to miss an opportunity to be considered a valid mate? and this category is most consequential for mating (compared to music, which is also consequential, but not nearly as fundamentally disqualifying, on a biological level, as being the wrong sex)?